That is the only word to describe me the last 9 months of my life. Especially when it comes to this blog. I have THOUGHT about updating it plenty of times and honestly am very sad I haven't. In my mind I know why I haven't and it is a ridiculous and self conscious reason but I am trying to turn a new leaf and realized I want to use this blog as my journal for my own personal memories, whether anyone else reads it or not. I was too worried about being judged for letting myself go back to old habits. Mostly I am ashamed that I have gained weight, while some people may think this is ridiculous this is my truth. I am embarrassed and I completely secluded myself from the world as much as I could. I cringed when I saw people I know in public, I turned down lots of invites, I stopped using my camera as much, I stopped uploading pictures on Facebook and kind of went into a dark place. One morning I woke up and decided that I was letting my life pass me by and I can't do that to Colton and myself. I then realized that although I am not necessarily happy at this moment I cant let it hold me back and that it doesn't matter what I do with Colton we have FUN and I need to remember all the funny funny things he says and does. Although I still cringe when I see people and still am embarrassed by my photo's of myself I am trying to accept myself all the while making positive changes.
My goal is to update this weekend, I have lots to write about. I will probably start with recent stuff then back track through the spring and summer. So I am making a promise to myself and the world wide web...
*I will update this blog
*I will keep it updated
*I will keep this blog honest (I hate nothing more than reading blogs that I feel are fake)
Bare with me as I will probably have a post overload for a little bit. Read as much or as little as you like. But for now let me give you a little preview of the fun we have had...